26 March 2010


las vegas.

remember that one time when i threw my 276 one dollar bills all over your bed and made you roll around in it with me? you told me i was ridiculous but i already knew i was. i was just glad that you noticed.

21 March 2010

blog post

i think it is important to write on this blog so that my readers-three will not lose interest entirely.

dear gang, something worth reading will some how establish a connection between my fingertips and keyboard and be available for blog use later this week.


05 March 2010

Meditations on a March 5 Snowstorm

Dear Mr. Gore,

I think it is safe to say that I am not alone in my disappointment. You have let not only me, but all the citizens of the world down. For the past several years of debates and controversy, I have been stocking up on bikinis and tanning oil for the much anticipated effects of global warming. But, alas! I have survived February yet again with hope for an unusually warm spring and am disappointed to find that another March, and possibly April, will be spent scraping my car and drooling over the dark orange zones of USA Today's world weather section. (Guantanamo is consistently in the mid 80's this time of year. Just lovely.)
But despite the senate hearings and the mixed signals I am receiving from Glenn Beck on the issue, I remain hopeful in American's ability to continue their trends in carbon emissions.
Today, after having flushed the low-flow toilet and washed my hands with Softsoap's new Green Formula, I stepped toward the exit and my finger hovered over the bathroom light switch. What was I doing? Conserving energy? REDUCING MY CARBON FOOTPRINT?
Tonight, I will leave my unfortunately fuel efficient car idling in the driveway. I will burn large plastic bins full of water bottles and write a strong-worded letter to GMC for discontinuing Hummer.
I hope and pray that our efforts will pay off so that future generations may enjoy endless sunshine. (Not to mention the rising sea levels, the extreme weather, the endless droughts).

A concerned and pasty white citizen