31 December 2010

Adios MMX

2010: Grace Style
(because i'm feeling self important and/or reflective and also my computer is letting me upload photos today)

This year I...

kicked the year off in dreary old london
spent a ton of money, gained a ton of weight and still feel like it never even happened.

ran into this girl making a drug deal

then proceeded to gallivant about giant wombs
and way too many patisseries.

found myself on the sunny spanish coast with ol' blue eyes.

celebrated bastille day in sleaze.

said goodbye to my love.
(picture taken moments before checking her cute bootie into the MTC)

conquered the great yosemite.

eventaled. remained an unpaid intern.

never wore a helmet

got real close and awful happy.

risked my life for the great apple harvest.

grew a stellar beard.
(couldn't be happier it's gone)

thought winter would never come.
i'm happy it's here but would be happier yet if it left in a timely manner.

Other things I did:
became a sushi chef
found my true calling
hung out with cadavers
got paid to go to school
bought way too many clothes

Things I hope to do in 2011:
chip away at my reading list
lead climb a 5.11c
move to salt lake
witness a live birth in person
get a few new stamps in the passport
eat more leafy greens
laugh louder and more often

2010, you were a year. go with god.

28 November 2010

thanks for the down coat.

on tuesday night life in utah was put on hold in preparation for The Greatest Blizzard of the Century. by 3 pm byu had completely shut down and by 5 the panic had spread to the sumo where the tinted glass doors were snugly locked against brave blizzard-farers/"sushi" (vegas roll?) lovers. temperatures were expected to plummet and snow expected to drop by the foot. as i drove around running errands in anticipation for what ended up being The Greatest Disappointment Since the First and Last Time I Went to Disneyland, the same little worry crept into my mind that usually finds its way in this time every year: where will all the little birds go tonight? i didn't know how bad the storm was going to be* but if it was even half as bad as it was hyped up to be, sweet little birdies would be dropping from the trees, their spindly little legs unable to hold onto the branches any longer.
people have their homes (or homeless shelters) with roofs and walls and fish can dive deep to find constant temperatures and furry animals can burrow and dig and bugs, well bugs all end up dying pretty quick anyway, but birds live in the branches of tall trees where the wind whips their little homes from east to west to east. i worry about the birds and their puffed up bodies trying to keep them warm all winter. i hope for my sake that the rest of this winter's storms prove to be as mild as the first but also i hope for the sake of the tiny little birds that shiver on the power lines, looking for sunshine.

* i am gullible and the national weather service had me on the verge of believing that the second coming was certainly upon us. i located my headlamp just case.

12 October 2010


i want this.

24 August 2010

a glorious mistake

two weeks ago we went to yosemite and took a lot of mediocre pictures.

then we took this picture.
wha what??

(more to come)

29 July 2010


was that london? was that $6000 and 14 plays and 3 expired tube passes and 6 full weeks? was that taking the 9 (or the 10) to catch the circle (or the district)? Was that stuffed to the brim tube carriages and men wearing perfectly fitted suits and bundling up even in june and endless blisters and rejoicing in the weak pound and nymphettes playing cricket in the park?
i think it was. i thought it would never come, or end, and now it's just something i did in the spring.
cheers, london.

my computer still will not upload pictures to this, or any, medium.

i hope that this problem will be resolved in the near, or hell, even distant, future.

but since i am this generation's next vladimir nabokov (shane's words, not mine), my words alone will lack no stimulation...

i knew you would agree.

i made a little deal with myself just a few minutes ago and i intend to keep my end of the bargain and blog at least every week. it's hard to get back into it but maybe we can all forgive ourselves and forget about my negligence during the last four months and my abandonment of the whole purpose for starting this. (upon reviewing the two words used to describe my mistreatment of the blog in the last sentance (negligence and abandonment ), i feel pretty rotten and will immediately place blog in some therapy to resolve these issues.)

so here we go, blog. it's you and me now and whoever wants to join along, alighting at good times and always minding the gap.

28 April 2010

upon arriving

what day is today? i got on delta flight 12 and lost 7 hours. have you seen them?
in london, the air is balmy, the street signs are round, the grass is green, the buildings are ornate, the taxis are spacious, the h&m is close at hand and the people are grandiloquent.
i was among the first to arrive at the flat at 37 hyde park gate and my body knew it was 3 am even though outside the sun was shining. so i slept for a while until my roommates (normal. thank you, heaven) arrived and we went to whole foods where the cheese, oh the cheese!, occupied the entire second floor and is beckoning me back as we speak.
tonight we walked as a group through our kensington neighborhood and it seems the byu students brought their poor pedestrian habits with them to london so i won't be travelling in a group anymore.
there is the update for those who care. tonight we are supposed to read the first 3 acts of macbeth for class in the morning. i think i will consider that assignment optional.

08 April 2010

sugar and...

spice girls.

hot damn. does anybody else miss these girls?

i will be in the uk in a little less tha
n 3 weeks and so help me i'd better have a sighting.

whenever we played spice girls it was always unanimous that i be baby spice. because, you know, i was the cutest.
but this is 2010 and i would be offended if i had to play anything other than posh.
seriously offended.

04 April 2010


According to Bede (bede-y?), Easter is the goddess of spring.


Could Miss Easter please step forward and explain to the good people why this holy morn actually looked like this?

or maybe even this?

i'm not dreaming of this.

but other than having to dust off the ol' window scraper this morning (and then promptly putting it to use) easter (the holiday, not the pagan goddess) turned out a-ok.
with general conference falling on the same day, i had almost nowhere to show off my new easter hat so shane and i headed up to the cathedral of the madeleine with a small congregation of heathens to try out the new kneelers. not bad.
and upon our exit, the sun was shining and panda express forgot to close for the day.

peace be with you, indeed.

here is a festive word search. i found 'tfuna.' or 'mfaguro' as we native sushi chefs call it.

26 March 2010


las vegas.

remember that one time when i threw my 276 one dollar bills all over your bed and made you roll around in it with me? you told me i was ridiculous but i already knew i was. i was just glad that you noticed.

21 March 2010

blog post

i think it is important to write on this blog so that my readers-three will not lose interest entirely.

dear gang, something worth reading will some how establish a connection between my fingertips and keyboard and be available for blog use later this week.


05 March 2010

Meditations on a March 5 Snowstorm

Dear Mr. Gore,

I think it is safe to say that I am not alone in my disappointment. You have let not only me, but all the citizens of the world down. For the past several years of debates and controversy, I have been stocking up on bikinis and tanning oil for the much anticipated effects of global warming. But, alas! I have survived February yet again with hope for an unusually warm spring and am disappointed to find that another March, and possibly April, will be spent scraping my car and drooling over the dark orange zones of USA Today's world weather section. (Guantanamo is consistently in the mid 80's this time of year. Just lovely.)
But despite the senate hearings and the mixed signals I am receiving from Glenn Beck on the issue, I remain hopeful in American's ability to continue their trends in carbon emissions.
Today, after having flushed the low-flow toilet and washed my hands with Softsoap's new Green Formula, I stepped toward the exit and my finger hovered over the bathroom light switch. What was I doing? Conserving energy? REDUCING MY CARBON FOOTPRINT?
Tonight, I will leave my unfortunately fuel efficient car idling in the driveway. I will burn large plastic bins full of water bottles and write a strong-worded letter to GMC for discontinuing Hummer.
I hope and pray that our efforts will pay off so that future generations may enjoy endless sunshine. (Not to mention the rising sea levels, the extreme weather, the endless droughts).

A concerned and pasty white citizen

28 February 2010

Dear Emma,

Sorry about your surprise homecoming cupcakes.

They were supposed to look like this.

Boy did something go wrong.

Am I the one who's supposed to clean up this mess?

At least the gnocchi turned out ok.

Welcome home beebee.

24 February 2010

my identity.


for robbie

20 February 2010

Today I had a good intention. I intended to blog a sumptuous list of happenings, comings and goings (mostly goings) but the temporary staying-puts have pushed the clock hands steadily toward 2:30 am and the cursor remains blinking next to the first blank item on the list.

Tonight I experienced a great divorce. The assets have been split, compromises have been made and by tomorrow afternoon the final papers will be signed and filed and Kelsey will leave me with a pile of recyclables and a half empty closet. Six months feels like an awful long time when my potential life partner is on a tamponless beach in southern Morocco and her leaving announces the finality of a very dependent era. For nine months we picked out each other's outfits, fixed each other's bloody noses and held hands as we fells asleep. Kelsey tried to become the next Jackie O and I, just as unsuccesfully looked within myself for some glimpse of Martha Stewart.
By next week I will be snug in my mom's walk-in closet, rolling sushi roll after unsure sushi roll and trying to get myself to London. Coming home will be weird without Kels to shout out the very goods and the very bads with. Who knows where life will take us from here. I think I'll go to culinary school.

To clarify, I know it sounds like we're super gay. We're not. We just got a lot of philia. That's the good stuff.

17 January 2010

i've got this little feeling that 10 is gonna be a big one.

it's probably best that i start a blog.

mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers...
gracie's on the pony.